follicular variant of papillary thyroid cancer

for about thirty-six hours now, i have been thyroid-free. i am also one step closer to being cancer-free…

how am i feeling? a little sluggish, but good. the drive home from the hopsital was interesting. it always takes longer than normal for anestheisa to wear-off on me – so, amidst the nausea, dizziness and my husbands driving {everyone who has driven in a car with him knows what i am talking about} i had a somewhat induced case of car sickness with one honey, pull-over i’m going to puke!

other than that moment, i feel ok.

thyroid cancer via seejaneblog

last year, after my second biopsy results confirmed “undetermined” in regards to my thyroid nodule being malignant or benign… i was very apprehensive about what direction to go in. my first reaction was to attack this with a hollistic approach. i just thought, well, it’s time to be healthier. i typically eat good, i will eat better. more hot yoga. more running, more exercise. after a few months of this, i came to discover, both through speaking with my endocrinologist and through conducting all kinds of independent research, as of today in modern medicine there is no diagnostic tool, except surgery, for determining whether these cells are cancerous or not. in the case of surgery, the thyroid gland has to be removed (either half or all, depending on biopsy results on each side), so as to enable doctors to figure out exactly what is going on.

so, even if i would have chosen to fight thyroid cancer in a hollistic way, there would be no way to confirm if one: the nodule and thyroid had cancer to begin with. and two: i would never know after months and possibly years of eating clean, exercising, if the cancer had gone away. the only sure way of knowing that the nodule was malignant, and that it was gone is to have it removed. this is all due in part to the thyroid being so small and in such an area that makes it difficult to test.

i’m sharing this with you because as i’ve finished my second surgery, i’m thrilled to be moving forward and also fighting a feeling of self-disapointment. disappointment that i wasn’t able to overcome this without surgery.

have you ever felt this way? happy with where you are, disappointed in the route you took?

i greatly admire those who have cured themselves from terrible diseases with a natural path to healing. and maybe it’s the unrealistic perfectionist within me that wishes i had done this some other way, but regardless, i keep feeling a slight disappointment that i chose to have surgery. you can also replace “slight disappointment” with guilty, embarrassed, or ashamed. like, i took the easy way out.

on the flip side, again, i am truly thrilled to be moving forward. i started my new hormone meds today and i continue to wait for my super powers to kick in! these past few months left me constantly feeling more fatigued than normal, more lazy, more emotional, my immune system has been dragging, and i have high hopes that my hormone replacements will help cure some of this.

i learned about para-thyroids after surgery. evidently, i had one that collapsed during surgery. each human has four, and they are about the size of a rice grain. tiny. these para-thyroids control the amount of calcium in the blood and within the bones. so, my surgeon tucked the para-thyroid gland that collapsed in a muscle and it will regenerate itself and should start working again. amazing, right? the human body is amazing!!! i am also on a crazy high dose of calcium and will have a blood draw later this week to monitor how i’m doing.

i also have one more final treatment, possibly later this spring or early summer – radioactive iodine. iodine has a magical characteristic of only being attracted to thyroid cells. so, the radioactive iodine will go in and kill any malignant cells that were possibly left behind in surgery, making me completely cancer free. {!!!!!} the only downfall of this is that legally i am considered “radioactive” for three days and can’t be around any other humans. so, it will be a three day isolated hospital stay. obviously, my laptop and i, and a good book or two will be my companions when this takes place. until then, i am almost cancer free

my scar looks better than it did after my first surgery. it’s not as swollen, but it is a tad longer now since it needed to be longer to get into the left side, and i’m a bit more bruised. the bruising was caused by re-cutting the scar, the skin is tougher to cut a second time around. a bit ironic, yes?

all of this, plus the snow falling outside makes me dream of summer and warmer weather – i am connecting the two. 2013 summer means warm days at the beach, baseball games, it means i should be back to feeling like myself, it means all of this will be in the past…

are you ready for spring and summer???

{past posts about my thyroid cancer here, and here.}